The Cavan Family - Christmas 2016

I HAVE A CRAZY FAMILY

I have known this for a while, but its only in recent years the craziness has reached new levels. 

Mum and Dad raised us really well, they both worked really hard to provide for us, with Dad selling cars and Mum saving lives and then making a small turn and focusing on delivering new life into the world. 

I never remembered a moment where I didn't appreciate their hard work and love for us, but I'm sure there where a few years when my attitude maybe didn't reflect that. 

I have four siblings;

Sarah leads us off, she is wicked smart and kind she is a great person to follow into a room as people glow in her wake. She leads the family to be better, more kind and more thoughtful. She has never been given the luxury in our family to take herself to seriously, and she seems ok with that. She is married to Simon, a family loving, whiskey drinking, creative rockstar who tours the world playing music to thousands of people. Simon has added a lot to our family, most importantly, now, as of this year, landed himself the job of cooking the extended family christmas dinner, as he SMASHED it this year. They have the youngest of mum and dads grandchildren, Elliot, who has to be experienced. He's a beautiful addition to our family, bringing light, noise and dinosaurs in abundance. When Elliot does something, he does it right. Watch this space world. 

Victoria follows Sarah. Victoria is a trailblazer, a rule breaker and has one of the kindest hearts that I know. She was married to my brilliant and hilarious brother in law Peter for 12 years or so before they recently got a divorce. They have 3 children, the first three grandchildren for mum and dad, and parent them brilliantly through what has been a rough few years for everyone involved. Eve is beautiful young lady, who is the first to run up and give you a hug, even if thats when your in her school doing school photos. She loves deeply and is deeply loved in return. In May when I was taking the photos of hockey and rugby teams at her school, I made it crystal clear my feelings for Eve and everyone had to treat her with love and respect, much to her understandable embarrassment, but what else should a proud uncle do in those situations. Joel is a superstar and the definition of still waters run deep. A very talented sportsman with an exciting future ahead of him, watching him grow and mature requires close attention, as patience is the key when getting to know the real him. Finn is a monkey, who has the sort of look on his face the majority of the time that is a constant reminder that he is up to no good. A wonderful sense of fun and brilliant sense of humour, matched with a stern frustration with me when I wind him up, especially when he's tired. Victoria is a brilliant midwife, following in the footsteps of mum. Victoria is going out with Melissa, whose kind stillness brings a sense of peace to our crazy family occasions. 

After I was born, I think mum and dad must of sat down and had a discussion, looked at all they had with the first three, and plotted to fill in the gaps with one person, a final jigsaw piece, the beautiful hurricane that is my little brother, Matthew. Matthew has brought so much energy and life to our family, that mixed with a fair few moments of concern and worry, however I think he did that just to remind us how boring our family would be without him. I am planning in 2017 to do a documentary about this Matthew as his story and life is something that constantly intrigues me. If you are the sort of person that is too lazy to get to know people and just know of them through their labels, you would have a field day with this one. Currently single, gay, HIV+ actor and drag queen who has been given more grief about who he is than most people I know. When you set these labels down and find out who the human being is, you'll find a beautifully complex young man, who has the ability to captivate a room at the drop of a hat [of which he has many]. A young man who no matter what life throws at him, as the internal strength to throw back the middle finger and continue being who he was made to be. Now does this human being frustrate the life out of me? Yes of course but is that not one of the main roles in being a little brother. He is a young man I am immensely proud of. Whether on stage as his brash drag alter-ego Cherrie Ontop [I roll my eyes every time I say that name out loud] , or off stage as Matthew Cavan, my pride does not dwindle. 

Our family is headed up by our visionary without sight, my Granny, better known to most as Nessa, or Nenna to the great grand children. An old blind lady who makes up for all that she lacks, mainly her sight, with an incredible determination to live a 'normal' life. She can recount carrying her guide dog through broken glass ridden streets of Belfast, in the aftermath of a fresh bomb, so that the dog didn't cut its paws. A lady who went blind at 22 and proceeded to becoming a mother, raise two children, play a big part in raising her 6 grand children and is still going strong. I challenge anyone who meets Granny, to start a conversation with her and not be smiling from ear to ear within the first few moments. Granny's lack of sight has been a massive part of our lives growing up, however, in Granny, someone who has not seen her own refection in 60+ years, I don't know if I have ever met anyone who could see so clearly who she was, and the others around her. I have memories of her gentling moving her hands across my face as she drew her mental picture of what I looked like. However, even more impressively, I would ring her regularly growing up and within seconds of her answering the phone with the consistent Heeeeellllo, she could tell when something was wrong and like a magician it only took a further few minutes before I was opening up to her. 

Mum and Dad within 2 weeks of each other retired before Christmas. So during our Christmas meal, the Thursday before Christmas, we made sure we recognised this moment in their lives that hopefully allows them some of the luxuries they have provided for us over our lifetime. 

Oh my family life is a mess! A TRUE MESS! We have definitely taken the path less travelled in our ever changing formation. A night with our family you might see this in reality, you might see the personalities I've described, you might see what my wee family brings to the mix through Julie's warmth, and Reuben and Ollie's gentle joy, you might see the scars from years of pain and heart ache, you might see the laughter lines of each face, you might see people stretching over each other, sitting on each others knees, holding hands, and you might see the space people have left behind as they move on that we refuse to fill. 

Family is tough, you don't choose these crazy folk, you can't control everything they do or what happens.

But let me tell you, they are my crazy folk, they are my mess, and I love it! I love them in the way something you love makes you laugh til you cry, cry til you laugh. 

I have watched love in action all my life;

I have watched a broken Mum walk side by side with her son through Pride parades in Belfast, walking that bit closer as they walked past the righteous group protesting the outrage of the event. 

I have watched a Dad not skip a heart beat in offering me everything and anything I needed. 

I have watched Sarah listen, and quietly guide ALL of us through really tough times in our lives. 

I have watched Victoria in work, sitting beside a grieving mother of a still born, giving her comfort in her silent companionship. 

I have watched a baby brother stand there when people around him take turns in telling him how much of a 'fuck up' he is and how his 'lifestyle' disgusts them and then watch him try and stay true and positive to himself. 

And these are only a few counts of times I have been overwhelmed with pride for my family. 

Just before Christmas we had the rare chance of getting everyone in the room at the same time. 

This is my family. 

I am proud to be a Cavan. 

---

THE MAN HATTER: 

Have I gone mad?

ALICE: 

I am afraid so, you're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret, ALL THE BEST PEOPLE ARE

Lewis Carroll - Alice in Wonderland

---

Pete Waugh // Half Irish

You know what? When I come to think of it, in most places in my life, I am very fortunate.

Not just because I am on the balcony of a bar in the south of France having had the most relaxing week of my life with nearly another week still to go [I am ignoring the horrible Karaoke going on inside the bar, yes you guessed it, Let It Go is being screamed by 4 or 5 seven year old girls]. 

If you scrolled through my phonebook you would find some of the best people this world has to offer. Some take a bit of getting used to before you can truly appreciate them. Others are so warm on the outside, it has you question whether its an act. I have to be honest with you, growing up in school there was a guy in the year below me that was like that. His generosity of spirit was so vast that I thought something was up. Something didn't seem right. He has to be covering up something. But I knew his sister and she was just brilliant too. So for the first wee while I held this character at arms length. Over fifteen years later, this same person has me sitting in the warmth of an evening in France, just briefly wishing I could be back in cold rainy Belfast.

Pete Waugh was this young man in school I just couldn't understand. Surely nobody could be this kind and positive. Over these last fifteen years, Pete wore down my cynical heart. When that happened a few months into our friendship, I knew I had someone that was important I held onto. I had a friend that was special.

When Pete started to pursue writing I thought it was cool. Lots of people I knew were trying their hand at new skills, I wasn't long into being a photographer myself. He took a chance on me. He asked me to do his wedding photos. It was without a doubt the hardest wedding I have ever done. Not because Pete & Kerry are hard to take photos of, I think the camera loves them as much as they love the camera, but it SNOWED! Not just a pretty dusting of snow, but the sort of snow storm that means you have to cancel the evening party of your wedding. As I drove up the the beautiful Lisanoire Castle that day, I dont remember passing anyone else on the road up from Belfast. No one else seemed daft enough to be out on the road. When we got there, the beautiful couple couldn't wait to get outside to taken some photos in the blizzard. Kerry had prepared by finding gold Ugg wellyboots online and popped them on and was good to go. It was so much fun. 

Since their wedding I had a few photo shoots with Pete, but the latest was without a doubt my favourite. Not because it was my best work, or anything like that. But it was the finish line to a project I had been involved in for a while which included making a video. Seeing one of my best mates standing there with a book that represented a distant dream a number of years previous was amazing. 

There has been a push within the photography world to remind everyone of the origins of photography in this digital age. #filmisnotdead appears on my instagram feed quite a lot. Photographer friends of mine who where photographers before digital became the industry standard or new photographers wanting to push their skills and learn the valuable lessons film photography can teach the trigger happy digital photographer. People ask me did I start with film, and of course I 'started' with film. I was born in 1984, I didn't have a digital camera til I was 20. But I had never got into the processing in a dark room or anything. I applied in school to be part of the photography [film] club but was turned down because it was oversubscribed. However, I can say with a great degree of confidence that I only became interested in being a photographer when digital cameras came into play. I could even go as far as saying, even though it may be offensive to my craft and profession, I have zero interest in film photography. This doesn't mean I dont have the utmost respect for people who do, or think I can appreciate the different skills involved and can even conceded that people who use film, are better technical photographers than me, not a problem. It just isn't for me [famous last words]. It took me 19 years to realise that I have a different way of learning. It has then taken me near ten more years to be confident enough in my learning style to rely on it. I am an experiential learner. I learn by doing. The immediacy of digital photography gave me the understanding to learn at a pace that kept me interested. I got into photography just as social media was kicking off too. So instantaneous learning and then pseudo instant feedback from people online gave me the confidence to push myself further. This has held true in my whole career as a photographer.

Now take writing a novel. Getting up each day, carving up words to paint a world that up to this point in time only existed in your mind. Now repeat that for days/months/maybe even years on end. Only taking a couple of pit stops to show people to whats going on to see if you are on point. Then you show your work to some people who tell you what changes need to be made. 85,000 words or so later, you print the book up, tell your friends and family about it, set up a Facebook page, and open a shop for pre sale. You then watch as orders come in for it. You then throw a party to thank everyone for buying the book and what to expect [which was tonight].

AND.

THEN.

YOU.

WAIT. 

I have not read Half Irish although a copy will sit proudly on my bookshelf. I am also not much of a reader, I have told Pete that I will help him release the audio book. I am sure there are some people who will try and poke holes in the book, some will not get it, but others will allow themselves to  'quantum leap' into the story and live the lives of those printed on the page. 

I am told by my wife I don't suit hats, I tend to agree with her, but if I did, and from time to time wore one, I would use this time to take my hat off in appreciation not just for the talent of my good friend Peter but for the inner drive and confidence to get to today.  

Today I am more aware than I was yesterday that dreams can come true. Not by sitting back and wishing upon a star but by taking steps forward and allowing them to fly. 

Mr P J S Waugh, congratulations sir. You have one very proud friend here. You inspire me everyday, looking forward to seeing where this path leads you to. Half Irish? Nah, Full legend! 

DREAMS

-dc

Blowy day at the park

Trying to feature some time I have with my wee family. 

Personal photos are so important, and I think sometimes the worst thing about being a photographer is sometime the idea of getting your camera out to take photos when your 'not at work' seems like a hassle. I have been challenging myself, through the inspiration of a lot of my peers, to do this more as we will regret it when we are older. 

We as a family are very blessed to live close to Julies brother, David and his wife Lynda and their two kids Daisy and Tobin. The kids stagger in age, Reuben, Daisy, Ollie & Tobin and they LOVE each other. Lots of kisses, hugs and laughing. So a few Sundays a go, although the weather was cold and it rained off and on, we met up at a local park to let the kids run around. It finished off with a game of hide and seek I had with my boys. You might spot a photo later in the post that has the boys 'hiding' behind some trees. I think I had more fun they they did! haha

Looking forward over the next couple of months to use the blog more and more, mixing up some wedding work, with other work I do, although with some personal projects and things I am up to.

Spain // Family Holiday

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In September we went on our first foreign family holiday as a four! It was also Reuben and Ollie's first time on a plane! The weather we great, the pace was different to other holidays we had been on but it was the most special 10 days! 

Brother Birthdays

Our we men are growing up so fast! In May Ollie turned 1 and today Reuben turned 3!  

It has turned into a bit of tradition to go to the park in the morning of the boys birthdays! 

So here are photos from both mornings!  

Ollie's First Birthday - 2nd May 2013

Reuben's Third Birthday - 31st July 2013  

Brothers...

It was just over a year ago we gained another son, and Reuben gained a little brother. Over this time it has been a pleasure to watch them grow together.  

He is my most beloved friend and my bitterest rival, my confidant and my betrayer, my sustainer and my dependent, and scariest of all, my equal. 

~ Gregg Levoy

Our boys...

Today we celebrated our sons 1st Birthday! Ollie is our second son and he is just brilliant! He has the best cheeky laugh ever! 

EASILY the worst thing about being a professional photographer is that sometimes the last thing you want to do when you at home is to take photos, however photos of my family are really important to me! So today I wanted to make the best of good [well average to be honest] weather, a great occasion and an empty play park! 

We are very fortunate to have two beautiful and health boys. Reuben has such a great sense of fun and is very attuned to other peoples emotions! Ollie has mischief written ALL over his very cute and slightly chubby cheeks!  

Having kids is hard but even whenever your tired and just want to sleep, its hard not to feel very blessed when we spend time with these two!  

Lots of blog posts coming up in the next week or so, so keep an eye out!

-dc